


Cephalothorax

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Asparagus [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: A/B/O, Angst, Arguments, C-Section, Crying, Dissociation, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Post-breakup, Pushy Arin, Surprise pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 20:55:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Suzy was smiling at the camera, as impeccably made up as ever."So me and Barry have some good news that we wanted to share with everyone... we're expecting again.""... oh," said Dan, and he pressed closer, so that Arin's head could rest on his sparse stomach.Arin paused the video, on Suzy's smiling face.Arin isn't sure how he feels about his ex having another kid, and he brings it up to Dan. Things go from there.





	Cephalothorax

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiq2004](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiq2004/gifts).



> A sequel to my fic, _Asparagus_. Angsty as hell, proceed with caution!

Dan realized something was up as soon as he came into the office.

The air was... tense, and Dan could smell Arin's agitation a mile away.

Which meant it really had to be something, because usually Dan was pretty damn nose-dead.

Arin was sitting in his seat, staring at his monitor with a fixed expression, wearing a pair of headphones.

"Hey man," said Dan, a little more casually than usual. 

The office was pretty empty - Brian and Ross were doing a video in another room, and Matt was editing with his headphones on.

"Hi," said Arin, and he took his headphones off. "Have you, um... have you heard the good news?"

"Good news?"

"Yeah," said Arin. 

He unplugged his headphones, and reloaded the video, so it would start again.

It was a Suzy video. 

Oh god.

Dan bit back his groan. 

"I thought you were gonna stop watching her videos," said Dan. "You always get agitated when you see them."

"Well, yes," said Arin. "But... well, I got an alert on YouTube, and I thought I'd check it out. Since we've... we've been doing a little better." He smiled at Dan, clearly anxious, and Dan rested a hand on top of his head, ruffling Arin's hair. 

Arin leaned into him, seeking comfort, and Dan kept stroking. 

"Hey YouTube, it's Mortemer!" 

Suzy was smiling at the camera, as impeccably made up as ever. 

"So me and Barry have some good news that we wanted to share with everyone... we're expecting again."

"... oh," said Dan, and he pressed closer, so that Arin's head could rest on his sparse stomach.

Arin paused the video, on Suzy's smiling face.

"She never wanted to have a baby with me," he told Dan, and his voice cracked. "Well, no, she always wanted to wait until "later," because it was never the right time. But... I guess it was the right time, just not the right... person."

"You wanna take a day off?"

Dan didn't really know what to say about all of this. 

It was a mess, and it was a mess he'd made it clear he didn't want to be too involved in, because... well, he had enough trouble with his own emotional baggage.

Let alone Arin's.

They'd been dating for almost a year, and things had calmed down, on the Suzy front.

Arin was still very clearly grieving his relationship, but Dan had a feeling it would always be like that, to a certain extent.

You didn't give that much of your life to someone else and then lose them without having a piece of you torn out in the process. 

"Nah," said Arin, and he stood up, brushing his hands together. "Let's get Grumping!"

"What are we doing today?"

"A whole bunch of random games. I kinda just grabbed a few from a pile and went from there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Should be entertaining to the Lovelies, if nothing else!"

* * *

The first game was one of those damn Babyz games.

Because of course it was.

Dan whined and laughed his way through it, but he kept an eye on Arin.

Arin had a white knuckle grip on his controller, and his jaw was clenched, to the point where Dan was a bit amazed that the Lovelies didn't hear his teeth creaking. 

"You ever want to have kids?" 

Arin asked it out of nowhere, and Dan shot him a look.

Arin's tone was too casual. 

It was giving Dan the creeps.

"I mean... some day," said Dan, trying to be equally casual. "I've got so much shit going on now though, you know?"

"When are you not gonna have shit going on, though," said Arin. "Like, we have super busy lives. Everything is always kinda happening at the same time, and life doesn't give you, like, a designated time where things calm down and you can settle down and have a baby."

"I mean, when you say it like that, I'd be the one getting pregnant," Dan said, giving Arin a very pointed look. 

"That'd be hilarious," said Arin. "You'd be, like, all belly. What's the word for that?"

"Really skinny plus a baby?"

The hair on the back of Dan's neck was beginning to go up, and he was trying not to keep glaring at Arin. 

"Cephalothorax."

"The fuck is a cephalothorax?!"

"You know in some old cartoons, they had, like, bad guys that were just body, with legs? Like... fuck, like Kirby!"

"I don't wanna call Kirby something like a cephalothorax. That makes him sound, like, a whole lot less cute."

"Nothing would make Kirby less cute," said Arin, in the voice of authority.

"Are you sure? What if you gave him vampire teeth? Or maybe, like, a fedora?"

"I thought it was trilbies that are the hats you're supposed to look out for," said Arin, his expression thoughtful. 

"Whatever. You know the kinds of hats I'm thinking about."

"I mean, some people think it's important," said Arin. 

"Do you?" Dan raised an eyebrow. 

At least they weren't talking about babies anymore. 

"But yeah. You would totally be hilarious pregnant," said Arin. 

"I dunno," said Dan. "Maybe you should get pregnant. It'd be totally a thing."

"What do you mean, a thing? Are you making comments in regards to my status?" Arin waggled his eyebrows, and that made Dan burst out laughing in spite of himself, because how could he resist Arin, making that _stupid_ face? 

"Well, I mean, if either of us was to ever get pregnant," said Dan, "you'd be much more suited for it."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"I'm saying you've got bulk," Dan said. "You'd look like a dude with a really big gut. Versus, you know, a snake that swallowed an elephant."

"Wasn't that a thing in The Little Prince?"

"That book was messed up, man," said Dan. "I cried a lot about the bit where the Prince got bitten by the snake. And the bit with the fox...."

"Spoilers," Arin said, in a scolding tone. "What if people haven't read it?"

"I'm sorry," Dan said, "that I'm spoiling a book that was written when I was a kid, lo those many years ago."

"You're not that old," Arin said.

"I'm older than you," pointed out Dan. "Fuck, these babies control like boats."

"Baby boats!"

"I dunno," said Dan. "Like... this isn't trying to be cute. Or it's trying to be cute too hard. Kirby stuff is adorable, because, like, he's this little ball, and also in the epic yarn, they were all made of fabric, and it was just so _cute_ , but these CGI babies are just... creepy."

"All babies are kinda creepy," said Arin. "It's the faces."

"Maybe you've just forgotten what real babies look like, since we've been staring at these creepy babies for such a long time. I may begin to forget my own mother's face, at this rate."

"Replaced by these creepy CGI monstrosities?"

"Yeah," said Dan. "I will no longer have my fondest memories of my family. It will all be these creepy babies who move like boats." 

"When was the last time I actually saw a baby?" Arin's voice was thoughtful. 

"Well, there was the time that Barry came in," Dan said, without thinking.

... shit.

Arin was stiffening up.

"Oh yeah," said Arin, noncommittal. 

"So is this as bad as the Teletubbies game, or worse?"

"I'd say it's better than that one," said Arin, shooting Dan a grateful look as he clung to the dangling conversational thread like a lifeline. "Because it... kinda makes sense? It's just so damn cutesy, but not actually cute."

"What's the difference between cutesy and cute?"

"The eyes," said Arin. "There's been a scientific study on -"

"They seriously did a scientific study on what makes things cute versus cutesy?"

"Why certain things elicit certain reactions," said Arin. "Like, you know when you see something really cute and you want to cuddle it so hard that its head pops off?"

"... no," said Dan. "I actually don't have those types of urges, Arin. They sound a bit worrying."

He was laughing, a tad nervously.

"No, see, it's a real thing," said Arin. "It's called "cute aggression," and it's, like, related to how our brains don't want us to feel too much of a thing at once, so it'll give us something in the opposite direction." 

"But what would be the evolutionary advantage of that kind of thing?" Dan licked his dry lips, and navigated his baby around an obstacle. 

"I have no idea," said Arin. "Not everything has an evolutionary advantage."

"It has to do _something_ ," said Dan. 

"Maybe it's like... nervous laughter," said Arin. "Or crying with joy."

"I've done that," Dan admitted. "When my nephews were born, I hid behind a soda machine."

"I remember that," said Arin. "Or I mean, I remember I told you that."

"You mean I told you that," said Dan. "I don't think you'd be able to tell me something that I did, while I was awake and whatnot."

"And whatnot?"

"You know. All those things that people do while they're awake."

Arin burst out laughing.

"Next time on Game Grumps," said Dan. “We figure out what exactly it is that makes Arin laugh at the most random shit!"

"What do you mean, the most random shit? That was fuckin' hilarious!"

Dan turned off the sound capture, leaning back into his seat, his feet up on the coffee table. 

He stretched, his back arching, and his back crackling like a bowl of rice krispies. 

"Do you want to keep doing this game? Or we could do more Katamari, or you've probably got another Kirby game lying around...." 

"How would you feel about having a baby?" 

Arin's face was... anxious, and he was avoiding Dan's face.

"I mean, if I found another partner, maybe? Or maybe... down the road, if we're still together in a few years, we could adopt a kid?"

He saw Arin flinch at the "if", but fuck it. 

Dan wasn't comfortable with forever kind of talk, and he knew that Arin knew it. 

"I meant more... would you ever want to... _have_ a baby. Like, get pregnant."

"What, me? Pregnant? Seriously?" 

Dan burst out laughing. 

"What?" Arin crossed his arms across his chest.

"I'm sorry. Me. Pregnant. Fuckin'... I wouldn't be able to perform for, like, three years, I'd basically disappear from the public eye, which would make everyone wonder -"

"You wouldn't have to _disappear_ ," Arin pointed out. "Just... take a lot of pictures from the chest up.”

"Why are you so focused on this?"

"Maybe... maybe I was thinking of the next step in our relationship," Arin said, his tone somewhere between sulky and hopeful. "Because I want a baby."

"You want a baby."

"Yes."

"With me, specifically."

"Also yes."

"... is this because of Suzy?"

"No," Arin said quickly. "I mean, it did kinda remind me of it, but I've wanted to make a baby with you for a while."

"We don't make babies," Dan said. "We have sex."

That really was the important part.

Dan wasn't anywhere _near_ ready to be a parent. 

"Well, yeah," said Arin. "But we... we could have a baby."

"I mean, it's physically possible to have a baby," said Dan. "But a lot of things are physically possible and we shouldn't do them."

"Can you think about it, at least?" 

Arin was... Arin was pleading. 

Holy fuck.

"Shouldn't we try to hit a few milestones before that? I dunno, maybe get a pet? Move in together?"

"Done," said Arin. "I hate my shithole apartment. I'd love to live in your house."

"Well, yeah, it's got space, but... it's _my_ house," Dan said.

Okay, so he and Arin spent pretty much all of their time together, it was true, and Arin basically had half a closet and a few drawers in Dan's room, and things smelled like Arin, and him living there wouldn't be that different, but....

Was Dan ready for this level of commitment? 

"I'm not gonna turn it into my house," Arin said. 

"I know that," Dan said. "I just... can you give me some time? This is kind of a lot to take in."

"Of course," Arin said, and he groaned, covering his face with one hand and dragging it down to tug at his beard. "I'm being a jerk, aren't I?"

"A little bit," said Dan, and he took a step forward, cautiously wrapping his arms around Arin's middle and hugging the other man. "But it's okay."

"I'm sorry," Arin said into the fabric of Dan's shirt. "I'm...."

"I know," said Dan. "Maybe you should call Dawn?"

Dawn was Arin's therapist, which Dan had finally convinced Arin to go to after much poking and prodding. 

"I probably should, huh?"

"Oh, definitely," said Dan. "Fuck, if I were you, I'd be halfway down a bottle already."

"I thought you didn't drink anymore," Arin said.

"Well, no, I don't, but there is a time and a place to drink, and I feel like you're in one of those," said Dan. 

Arin huffed out a laugh, and maybe he was crying a little bit, but he was still laughing.

Dan leaned in, and he kissed Arin gently, ignoring the wetness against his cheeks, his hands resting on Arin's hips. 

Arin kissed him with more of that desperate loneliness that was always a bit unsettling, just that little bit off putting, and Dan kissed him back, trying to temper some of it, introduce some gentleness into it, make it sweeter, kinda. 

Arin pulled back, panting, and he pressed his forehead against Dan's.

"Let me blow you, please," Arin said, and he sounded halfway to desperate. "Please. I need...."

"What do you need?" Dan cupped Arin's cheek, thumbing Arin's cheekbone, the hair of Arin's beard ticklish against his palm. 

"I need... I need to be just a body," said Arin. "Can I just do that for you? Please?"

"If you're sure," said Dan, letting go of Arin. "You don't have to be just a body, you know. You're allowed to have feelings. You're allowed to be mad, or whatever."

"I know," said Arin. "I just... please."

"As long as you're not just using me as a means to an end," Dan warned.

"I'd never do that," Arin said, and his face was turning red. "I'd... I'd never. I promise."

"Okay," said Dan, and he sat back on the couch, spreading his legs a bit wider.

Arin sank to his knees in front of Dan, his hands on Dan's knees, and he smiled at him, his eyes wide and reverential. 

"You know, one plus of having my heart ripped out of my chest?"

"Mmm?"

Dan tried to sound chill, calm. 

Didn't try to sound as slightly uncomfortable as he felt.

Not that he was... uncomfortable with getting a blow job from his boyfriend or anything - oh, far from it.

But whenever Arin got this slightly manic look on his face, things got... a bit unsettling, to say the least. 

Dan had never felt grief to that extreme degree, and he had a few ideas of what it could do to a person.

Most importantly, he could say no, if he had to.

Had in the past, and things had worked out okay.

And okay, so Arin was hot and offering a hot blowie, and he was kissing along the inside of Dan's thigh, his mouth warm even through denim and cotton.

Dan groaned when Arin pulled his cock out, kissing gently along the shaft, which was only half hard, then moving to lick around the base, just that way that always made Dan's toes curl.

Dan leaned heavily back into the cushions of the couch, resting one hand on top of Arin's head, his feet planted heavily on the floor. 

He moaned when Arin's mouth wrapped around the head of his cock, his hips rolling forward, his head lolling back.

"Fuck, Ar," Dan groaned, and he had his fingers in Arin's hair, tugging it gently, mainly just luxuriating in the feel of Arin's hot, wet mouth. "You feel so... fuck."

It was the kind of slow, leisurely blow job that makes for bad porn but good enjoyment for the participants. 

Arin would press the head of Dan's cock against the inside of his cheek and lick along Dan's circumcision scar, or slurp at the tip, flickering his tongue along the slit. He took the whole thing down, inch by inch, and Dan opened his eyes enough to stare down into Arin's eyes as Arin did it, until the head of Dan's cock hit the back of his throat.

Dan moaned, panting like he was running a race. He wished, faintly, that he could sweat. 

He wished this could go on forever.

His balls were already drawing up, and the muscles in his stomach were tightening, his groin beginning to tingle. 

"You're so... oh my god, Arin," Dan actually _whined_ , which would have been embarrassing, except that Arin was, like, freakishly good at blow jobs. 

Maybe it was an inborn talent, since he probably didn't get much practice with it when he was with Suzy.

Dan hunched his hips forward, grinding forward, Arin making obscene wet noises in his throat as Dan fucked it, leaning forward so that Arin's nose was pressed against his belly, so that Arin's mustache was tickling the very top of Dan's groin. 

"I'm gonna cum in your mouth, princess, or d-d-do you want it... somewhere else?"

Dan was circling his hips, his chest heaving, his whole face turning red and hot.

He was probably flushed all over, like the time he'd almost gotten heat stroke, but this was the kind of place where he wanted to be all the fucking time, balls deep in his boyfriend's mouth, teetering on the very edge of cumming, because that was the best fucking place to be.

He tugged on Arin's hair, then let go, giving Arin a chance to pull away, should he wish to.

If anything, Arin pressed closer, his hands on Dan's bony hips.

Dan didn't really have a say in the matter, because he was cumming, right down Arin's throat, his legs tense and his hips shifting forward.

He slumped back against the couch, panting, and he winced as Arin pulled off of his cock, making a bit show of licking his lips. 

"That was a hell of a load," said Arin, and he rested his cheek against Dan's thigh, nuzzling against it. 

"It's been a few days," Dan said, and then he giggled, tugging Arin up to kiss him.

It really was a good thing there weren't any windows in this room - anyone spying on them would have gotten quite an eyeful. 

He kissed Arin, tasting his own cum, and he rubbed noses with Arin, smiling goofily. 

“Hi,” Dan said, still riding the high of the orgasm.

“Hi,” said Arin. 

His hips were grinding against Dan’s thigh, and Dan reached down to squeeze Arin’s cock, only to have his hand gently pushed away. 

“I, uh….” Arin was blushing, his face in Dan’s neck. 

“Hmm?”

“I’d kinda like to knot you later, if that’s okay?”

Dan bit his lip. 

That would mean a lot of preparation, to say nothing of the mess it would make.

But… well, the idea of Arin panting on top of him, breath steamy against his neck, knot driving him open….

“Okay,” Dan said, and hopefully it didn’t come out as too much of a squeak. 

Arin chuckled.

“You’re such an Omega,” he said, and he kissed Dan with his cummy lips.

“Excuse me? You’re the one who just swallowed my load,” said Dan. “Also, you know… you’ve asked _me_ to get that cock sheath, so that I could knot _you_.”

“I just wanted to try it,” Arin said defensively, and then he laughed, the tension in the room easing. “Who am I kidding, I’m a butt slut.”

“The best butt slut,” said Dan, and he grabbed Arin’s ass. “So when do you wanna take my ass to pound town?”

“How about tomorrow night?”

Tomorrow night was Friday. 

They could go all out, then sleep until who even knew when.

“Sounds like a plan,” said Arin.

Dan kissed Arin. 

They didn’t do things the way people expected them to, true, but it was still pretty nice. 

They were doing their best to be happy, or as close to it as they could get. 

* * * 

Dan flopped on his couch, covering his face with one hand, his head lolled back.

“I need to get food,” Dan mumbled.

Arin sat next to him, his thigh pressed against Dan’s.

“I could make you food,” Arin suggested.

“You’re as much of a zombie as I am,” said Dan, and he yawned. “We should order out.”

“Fuck it,” Arin said, his tone philosophical. “I feel like crap, still. I’ll do something productive.”

“You’re keeping me company,” Dan pointed out. “That’s totally productive.”

“It’s, like, passively productive. I wanna be actively productive.”

“So you’re gonna order food?”

“No,” said Arin. “I’m gonna make you dinner.”

“I’ve got, like, no food,” said Dan. “Maybe a few ready made meals or something like that, but nothing much else.”

“I’ll go grocery shopping,” Arin said, and Dan glanced at him, one eyebrow going up. 

“What’s up with you?”

“I wanna do… something,” said Arin, and he was fiddling with his hands, cracking his knuckles, then shifting from foot to foot. “I’m just… I want to do a thing. I don’t know what.”

“Do you wanna knot me tonight?”

“I wanna knot you every night,” said Arin, as if that was obvious. “But I want….” Arin stared at the ceiling. “I was… I was a jerk, and I wanna make it up to you. And, like, I know that me making you dinner or whatever isn’t gonna make up for being a jerk, because that’s not fair. But I can still do it to feel a little better.”

“Okay,” said Dan.

“Also, I just don’t want to eat some stupid ready made meal, or take out.”

“What’s wrong with ready made meals?” 

“I eat them by myself all the time,” said Arin. “If I’m visiting you, I wanna eat good food.” His face turned bright red. “Also, um… this is kind of embarrassing.”

“What, your terrifying Alpha instincts are making you want to make me dinner?”

“... would you laugh if I said yes?”

“I mean, a little bit,” said Dan. “Mainly I’m just curious as to where that would come from in the first place.”

“I want to take care of you,” said Arin. “I mean, I can… I can tell that you’re on your way to a heat in a few days -”

Dan blushed, looking down at his feet. 

He _still_ couldn’t take his heat suppressors - that one type seemed to work, but all the others did weird shit to him.

“And anyway,” Arin said, pushing himself further, “I care about you. You’re… you’re my boyfriend. I love you. So I wanna make you dinner.”

Dan froze.

Arin froze as well.

“So I’ll be back in like half an hour bye.”

Arin was out the door before Dan had a chance to react.

… huh.

* * *

_Sorry about that, it was super awkward_

_It’s okay_

_So wanna pretend that never happened?_

_Nah. I… I feel the same. I love you too. I’m just bad at telling that kinda stuff. Or saying it_

_Really?_

_Yeah_

_Wow. Holy fuck. I’m grinning so big right now_

Arin sent Dan a selfie, and he was indeed grinning like a goof, illuminated by the shitty grocery store lighting.

Dan sent him back a thumbs up picture. 

_So I forgot to ask - what do you want me to make?_

_Something chickeny_

_Say no more_

Dan grinned. 

He did love Arin, didn’t he?

He had known it for a while, but… well, saying something about it made it more real, in a weird way.

They’d been doing things for almost a year, so it made sense, didn’t it?

Dan sighed, flopping back onto the couch.

Maybe he was so weird feeling because he was gearing up for a heat.

Had it been this much of a pain when he was younger, or had it just gotten worse as he’d gotten older?

He sighed, and he clicked the television on. 

He could drown in some Game of Thrones episodes, while he waited. 

* * * 

Arin came back forty five minutes later, carrying full grocery bags, wearing a determined expression.

"I'm making chicken pot pie," he told Dan.

"Isn't that kind of... labor intensive?"

"I'm not making my own pie crust," said Arin, "and it's not _super_ late."

That was true.

"Anything I can do?"

"Keep me company," said Arin, making his way towards the kitchen. 

Dan got up and followed after him.

"You sure you don't need, like, someone to chop the onions, or something like that?"

"Dan," said Arin, "I love you, but...."

And then he flushed, because he was saying it again.

"But?" 

Dan tried to ignore the mix of elation and terror that came from those three words.

"I'm not sure I'd trust you around a knife," said Arin, setting the bag of groceries on the table. 

"Why not?"

"Your hands are fucking huge," said Arin. 

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Lacking anything else to do, Dan began to pull the groceries out of the bag, carefully setting them down on the table.

"Well," said Arin, "I look at your long fingers, and the fact that you sometimes seem to forget how they are actually _connected_ to them, and then you'll end up in the emergency room, and then we end up on the news as local celebrities do something stupid...."

"You think we're "local celebrities" now?"

"I mean, we're something," said Arin, and he was washing his hands and rolling his hands up. "Can you pass me those chicken breasts?"

Dan handed Arin the shrink wrapped meat on its Styrofoam plate. 

"So why chicken pot pie?"

"I know you like chicken, I know that I need to eat more vegetables, and I know that you like pie crust."

"That is a pretty good reason," said Dan. "Where did you learn this recipe specifically?"

"Well," said Arin, "when... when Suzy and I were together, I used to like to cook for her." He laughed, a bit hollow, but he pushed on gamely. "Because, you know, I was taking care of her, and because it would make her happy. And I tried to make chicken and dumplings for her a few times, but it never really worked out, because she's got the amazing chicken and dumplings recipe, so I figured I'd make her something else chickeny, with some starch, and well, chicken pot pie is amazing, so I thought I'd perfect it."

Arin closed his mouth, and he was blushing. 

"... sorry," he said. "I kinda went on a bit."

"It's alright," said Dan. "Memories are like that." He laughed, trying to keep his tone light. "How many episodes of Grumps are literally just me going on long, rambling tangents?"

"Well,okay," said Arin, and he was taking out the premade pie crust, putting it in a casserole dish. "This is gonna be a weird shaped pie."

"Does it still count as a pie if it's casserole shaped?"

"It's gonna have pie crust on both sides, so I'd say it's a pie," said Arin.

"Sounds more like a pasty." 

"You mean those things that strippers wear over their nipples?"

"No, those are pasties." 

"So what's a pasty?"

Dan sat down at the kitchen table, watching as Arin fiddled with pie crust, then pulled out a cutting board and began to slice up vegetables.

"It's a thing in, like, Michigan, and it's...." Dan stared at the ceiling thoughtfully, trying to think of a comparison. "It's kinda like... a hot pocket? Or, like, a little pot pie you can hold."

"Huh," said Arin. "Sounds interesting."

The room was quiet, but for the sounds of Arin chopping things up. 

"When you go into heat, do you want me to cook you anything special?" 

Dan was jolted out of his reverie - he'd been a bit hypnotized, watching Arin chopping stuff up, the muscles in Arin's back shifting and moving under his tank top.

"What?" 

"When you go into heat. You're due in a few days."

"Am I? It feels... kind of erratic," Dan admitted. "All those years on suppressants, I'm still kinda getting used to what all of this feels like."

"Yeah?" Arin looked over his shoulder, dropping the various vegetables into the casserole dish. "That's weird for me to think about."

"What is?"

"Like... not knowing how your own body works."

"Is that not a thing for Alphas?"

"We have, like, seasons," said Arin. "Or... not seasons. Cycles. Like, we go into rut sometimes, which is... fun." He made a face. "But it's not, like... always a thing. I don't regularly go into rut, it just gets set off by very specific things."

"What makes you go into rut?" 

"Being around my... mate, I guess, when they're in heat," said Arin. "And if I get so horny that I get kinda... stupid. It only happened a few times with Suzy, and it's never happened with you."

"Would you ever want it to happen with me?"

Was Dan pushing this particular line of thought?

He wasn't entirely sure.

"I mean," said Arin, "to be blunt... the only point of rut is to try to get you pregnant. And... you kinda shot that down." 

He cleared his throat, and he went back to putting the two pieces of pie crust together.

"I didn't shoot it down, like, forever," said Dan. "I just... don't know when I'm gonna be ready."

"Hey man," Arin said, and he tried to keep his voice cheerful, although it was clear that a lot of effort was going into it. "Look at it this way. In a few years you won't have to worry about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, you're not getting any younger, not to be a jerk about it," said Arin. "So I figure... if you ever wanna get pregnant, you'd wanna do it already."

Dan... hadn't thought of that. 

Hadn't ever thought of himself getting pregnant, of having someone who he'd be comfortable enough with to have any kind of Alpha/Omega sex, of who he'd be comfortable being that open with. 

He pictured himself with the big belly - pictured himself even having a baby. 

It still felt... alien, but it wasn't repulsive.

"You think my fertility has gone down that much?"

"I dunno, man," said Arin, and he shrugged. "Sorry. I was kinda thinking about the stuff that you were talking about earlier, about wanting to wait, and I kinda realized what a jerk I was, being pushy. It's just... on my mind."

"Did you really mean it, about moving in with me?"

"Oh, yeah," said Arin. "The lease is almost up on my place, so I want to get out of it as soon as possible." 

"Oh," said Dan. "I mean... I do have the extra space."

"I do sleep here most of the time anyway," said Arin.

"... could you stay with me through the heat?"

Dan was looking at his hands. 

"If you'd like me to," said Arin.

"I'd be... I'd be willing to... to try for a baby," Dan said finally. 

It was like the words were being wrenched out of him. "Just not when I'm in heat. Because I feel like... that, like, guarantees a baby, and if we're gonna try to be parents, it can't just be about hormones?"

"You'd be willing to do that?" Arin dropped everything, turned around, cupping Dan's face.

His hands were cold, and smelled a bit like raw chicken, which was ten different kinds of disgusting, but judging by the emotion that was welling up in Arin's face, he didn't really have an opinion on it just now.

"I mean..," Dan said slowly, "I... I want to have kids. And I was thinking about how you said we'd never have a good moment to do it. And I... I'd be willing to keep a baby, if you got me pregnant. I can promise you that, at least?"

"Thank you," said Arin, and he kissed Dan, hard, desperate. 

There were tears dripping down his face, smearing across Dan's face. 

Dan kissed him back, carefully, gently. 

"Can you promise me that this isn't because of Suzy?" Dan pressed his forehead against Arin's, breathing each other's breath, his heart beating wildly. 

"It's not," said Arin, his tone earnest. "You're not a rebound. I promise."

"And I'm not a replacement?"

"If I wanted to replace Suzy, I'd probably go for someone who at least had her same anatomy," Arin pointed out, and he laughed wetly. 

"I dunno," said Dan, and he draped his arms over Arin's shoulders, keeping them forehead to forehead. "Maybe you want to try something interesting, before going back to your old self."

"I don't know if I had an old self, or if I was just there for Suzy," said Arin. "But fuck it. I'm not living to spite her anymore, because... fuck it, it's my life. Living it for her wasn't healthy, and living it to spite her wasn't healthy either. It's just you and me, and that's all I need."

He kissed Dan again, with that same alarming intensity, and when he pulled back, there was a hard light shining in the back of his eyes. 

"So... so you'd be willing to try for a baby?"

"I don't want to try for a baby," said Dan. "But... if I get pregnant, we'll do it. We'll keep it."

Arin grinned, wider than Dan had ever seen him. 

"We're gonna do it," said Arin, and he looked like he was going to start crying. "We're gonna do it!"

"I mean, I thought that was tomorrow," said Dan, and he laughed, anxiety crawling up his back like a rat. 

Arin snorted.

"Are you done with the romance stuff, and can I wash my face now?"

"Why do you want to wash your face?"

"You've got chicken hands," said Dan. "I don't want to have raw chicken face." 

"...shit. I forgot about that."

Dan snickered, and went to the bathroom, to wash his face of whatever chicken juice was still on him.

When he came back, Arin was putting the chicken in the oven, and washing his own hands.

"I'm not gonna make a good dad if I give the kid salmonella, huh?" Arin laughed, and it was the kind of elated laughter that gave Dan the shivers.

Was he jumping into this too quickly?

Well, he probably wasn't going to catch pregnant, since... well, his age. And his family had trouble conceiving. 

And even if he did... well, he had Arin.

Arin, who he did love, a lot. 

And maybe it was early in things to try stuff, but fuck it. 

"You okay in there?" 

Arin snapped his fingers in front of Dan's face, and Dan blinked at him, coming back to himself. 

"Sorry about that," said Dan, and he grinned, sheepish. "I zoned out."

"I noticed," said Arin. "Thinking anything big and profound?"

"Kinda... just... when do you want to move in?"

It was a good thing he hadn't made that extra room a recording studio - it would have been a pain in the ass, trying to fit Arin around that. 

"My lease runs out next month," said Arin. "So I could start moving my stuff here pretty slowly?"

"Would you want your own room?"

"I mean," Arin said, his eyes bright, "if you're gonna get pregnant, it would make sense to leave some room for a nursery, you know?"

"... right," said Dan. 

He would need to fit his brain around that. 

The whole baby thing.

He wanted to have a baby - in theory, at the very least.

He liked the idea of Arin living with him, for the most part.

A bit of him was... itchy about it, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.

Maybe it was just a holdover from the old days, when he was single and fancy free.

Maybe it was because, well... if he was pregnant, his Omega status would become much more obvious.

But at the same time...

He was fucking tired of hiding it. 

If Mark could be open about _his_ status, why couldn't Dan?

With a groan, Dan put his head on the table.

"Are you okay?"

"Everything is complicated," Dan said into his arms. "Why does it all have to be complicated."

"It makes life more interesting," Arin said, and then he was behind Dan, his damp hands on Dan's shoulders. "Don't worry, I washed my hands."

"Good," said Dan. "I like this shirt too much for it to get all... chicken-y."

"I won't lie, the idea of, like, Edward Chickenhands is kind of hilarious," said Arin. "Would they be live chickens?"

"... how would that even work?"

"I have no idea," said Arin. "But I also got ice cream."

"What kinda ice cream?"

"Chocolate, of course," said Arin, and he smiled at Dan. 

"You spoil me," said Dan.

"You're my Omega," said Arin. "Of course I do."

Dan blushed, looking down at his hands.

Well. 

Um. 

* * * 

The chicken was delicious, because of course it was. 

Arin was a good cook, even if he didn't do it that often.

And he fed Dan ice cream, spoon by spoon, until Dan thought he was going to explode.

He went to bed, and Arin clung to him like a limpet.

There was something desperate in the way her was clutching at Dan, his head on Dan's chest, but in fairness... Arin was a bit overwhelmed.

The trick was not to get swept away with him.

* * *

The next day at work was pretty full of anticipation.

Dan loved getting knotted, although he'd never admit it.

Well, no, he'd admit it if he was asked. But who was going to ask him, right?

... oh god, if he was pregnant, people would know. They'd all know that he got knotted, at least once.

Maybe he could make a comment about some sexy Alpha lady, because... well, Alpha ladies. 

Who didn't love Alpha ladies?

"Does it count as gay if you suck a girl's cock?" Dan shot a sidelong look at Arin, who was concentrating on keeping his character on screen from tipping over.

"Do you mean, like, a trans woman's cock, or do you mean a lady Alpha's cock?"

"What if it was an Alpha trans lady's cock?"

"Would she be trans Alpha, or trans lady?"

"Let's say... both."

"How would that even work? Wouldn't having to take all those hormones, like, do stuff to you?"

"Well, yeah, but our own hormones do stuff to us," said Arin. "You think I'd be this buff if I wasn't an Alpha?" He flexed for the look of it.

Dan snickered, poking Arin in the side.

"There are plenty of Omegas who are buff," Dan pointed out. "And plenty of Alphas who are pretty scrawny."

"Well, yeah, I was joking," said Arin. "Although if I could be beefy like in those knothead pornos -"

"You _watch_ those things?" Dan's voice rose up, scandalized. "Oh my god."

"I gotta see the competition," Arin said, his tone defensive, although he sounded like he was trying not to start laughing. 

"Competition?"

"I mean, now that I'm single, I need to scout out the competition, what the Omegas are into...."

"Yeah?"

Why did hearing Arin call himself "single" feel like a bit of a punch to the gut?

But no, they weren't talking about that stuff in front of the fans.

The fans took everything a bit too seriously, and Dan wanted his private life to be as private as he could make it these days.

Which wasn't that private these days, and it would be worse when he got pregnant.

Dan groaned, covered his face with one hand.

"What's wrong?"

"I bet you're watching all those Alpha for Alpha videos," said Dan. 

"Is that a thing?"

"Well, of course it is," said Dan. "People are always trying to put their dicks into each other, in all the new and exciting ways you can think about." 

"There are only so many ways that you can stick a dick in something," said Arin. "Until you want to go into the whole... like, docking, or sounding, stuff like that."

"I thought sounding was sticking things into the dick?"

"Well, dicks are things!"

"So people actually stick their dicks in each other's dicks?"

"I... don't know."

Dan gave a full body shudder.

"I don't want to think about that," Dan admitted.

"I thought you said -"

"I know, I started it," Dan grumbled. "But yeah. Alpha for Alpha is totally a thing. Don't you read personal ads? There's ton of, like, wet for wet, knot for knot."

"Wet for wet? The hell is that? Are you reading gay cruising ads?"

"Why are you assuming all of this is gay?"

Dan was laughing now, so hard that he was bent double, his forehead against the microphone. 

"I mean, okay, if someone is into, like, all the genders, does that make them pansexual, but what if they're only into one particular class. Is there a term for someone who is only into Alphas, or Omegas, or something like that?"

"Isn't that all a weird subculture?"

"Everything is a subculture, if you look close enough to it," said Arin. "You and I are technically in a weird subculture."

"We're in a bunch of weird subcultures," said Arin. "We're both weirdos in the nerd world -"

"How are we weirdos?"

"Well, you're a freak who is all into the sports ball," Arin said cheerfully. 

"I'm not that weird," said Dan. 

"You like sports," said Arin. 

"So do plenty of Americans," said Dan. 

"But you're not an American. You're a nerd."

"Americans can be nerds. Or nerds can be Americans."

"They totally can," said Arin. “But, like, I see a lot more people identifying with their fandom than their nationality.”

“Maybe it'll be like in Futurama, when all the different fandoms became religions.”

“I thought that was only Star Trek.”

“But there are so many variations of Star Trek,” said Dan. “Would there be schisms?”

“That is a fancy word,” said Arin, and he was laughing. “Lookit you!” 

“I read,” Dan said, trying to sound serious, then giggling harder. 

“But yeah,” said Arin. “I don't think it's gay to suck lady dick. Because it's lady dick, and it's not gay if it's with a lady.”

“Unless you're also a lady,” Dan pointed out. “Then it's, like, super gay.”

"I mean, everything ladies do with ladies is gonna be gay," said Arin. 

"What about with bisexual ladies? Or... what's it called, pansexual?" 

"Okay, so it's not gay in and of itself, but it's like... not straight."

"Next time on Game Grumps, we get a little bit less... philosophical and hopefully don't piss of every one of our Lovelies!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Arin. "All the Lovelies are gonna love us. Because they're all awesome."

"Someone is a suck up," said Dan, snickering. 

"It's called networking," said Arin. 

They were both snickering as they started up the next episode.

* * * 

The day went on.

And on.

Dan was... antsy, and he blushed every time Arin looked at him.

Occasionally Arin would lick his lips, or basically eye fuck Dan, and Dan would squeeze his thighs together, because... well....

He was going to be split open by a big, thick knot tonight.

He'd even eaten a smoothie for lunch, to cut down on the... mess later. 

When they got back to Dan's house, Dan barricaded himself in the bathroom for... a good amount of time. 

Because sometimes you need to do certain things, to make other things work.

* * * 

Arin had knotted Dan a few times, since that first time, and they'd figured some things out.

Like the fact that Dan needed to clean himself out, but good.

And there would need to be a lot of lube.

Dan tried to remember how awesome getting knotted actually was, as he sat on the toilet, staring at his phone.

"You okay in there?"

Arin knocked on the door.

"I'm fine," Dan said. "Get yourself all hard and shit."

"Aren't you a romantic," said Arin.

"You try being romantic while you've got what feels like half a gallon of water coming out of your asshole," said Dan.

"Oh my god, Dan, that is the most disgusting thing, like, _ever_ ," groaned Arin.

Dan snickered.

"I'll be out in like... fifteen minutes?"

"Gotcha."

* * * 

Dan came out of the bathroom wrapped in a kimono, clean on the inside and out, his hair damp from his shower. 

Arin was on the bed in just his boxers, reading on his phone.

"Hi," said Dan, and he was... he was shy. 

There was a syringe full of lube on the night table next to the bed, and Dan blushed when he saw it.

"Hi," said Arin, and he opened his arms up.

Dan straddled Arin, and he kissed him, chest to chest, his hands coming up cradle the back of Arin's head, his fingers sifting through the soft hair, the warm skin of Arin's scalp against his fingertips. 

Arin moaned against Dan's mouth, and then he broke the kiss, beginning to kiss along Dan's neck.

"You're so fucking hot," Arin breathed, and he rolled his hips, grinding his erection against Dan's ass. 

"You're... you're not... you're not too bad yourself," Dan said, and he moved his hands lower, to trace along Arin's spine, feeling along each bump.

"Thanks," said Arin. "I want... get on the bed, I want to eat your ass. And the rest of you. I'm gonna eat you alive."

Dan snorted.

"Are you trying to be sexy, or letting me in on your weird vore fantasies?" 

"Do you have to put it like that?" Arin pressed his face into Dan's neck, then pulled back, wrinkling his nose as he shook Dan's hair out of his face.

"Like what?"

"You couldn't, like, say cannibalism stuff, versus vore?"

"What's wrong with vore?"

"... I am not having this conversation," said Arin, and he kissed Dan again, tugging on Dan's hair.

Dan's head tilted back, and he moaned, his hips rolling forward, grinding against Arin's stomach.

His dick had woken up, and it was throbbing insistently, pressing through the kimono, and pressing against Arin's belly. 

"You're totally having this conversation," said Dan, and he began to nip along Arin's neck, biting Arin's shoulder, sucking on it, just enough to leave a mark. 

Arin would be able to press down on it, later, and he'd remember it. 

That made Dan smile. 

"I'd rather be having a conversation with your ass," said Arin, and then he was _lifting Dan up_ , dropping Dan on the bed, belly down, then grabbing Dan's kimono and carefully removing it. 

Dan looked over his shoulder, and then Arin was beginning to kiss along his spine, the all along the knobs of it.

Dan moaned, his eyes squeezing shut, his toes curling as his feet dangled off of the edge of the bed, and he ground his hips forward, as Arin began to kiss lower, digging his teeth into Dan's bony hip.

Dan squeaked, and he jerked forward, squirming, his knees digging into the bed. 

"You're... you're pointy," Dan said, aware of how stupid he sounded, not even caring. 

Arin's mouth was hot, sucking, wet, and his teeth were anchoring Dan, filling his whole body like a glass of water, filling up and up and up, until Dan was just left twitching on the bed, his eyes closed tightly and his breath coming in short, desperate pants. 

"Nice one," said Arin. "Real original."

Dan was reminded, out of nowhere, of the first time they had sex, and then Arin was breathing harder, his big hands on the cheeks of Dan's ass, holding them open for him. 

Arin groaned, and he was... staring at Dan's asshole, and okay, this was embarrassing, and kind of weird.

It was even weirder that Dan's hole was clenching around nothing, already anxious for Arin's thick cock to split him in half. 

How could he be this worked up already?

Well, "already," when Arin had been kissing up and down his back, a noted hot spot.

"You look so ready," Arin murmured. "I want to fuck you, so badly."

"S-s-so do it," Dan murmured. "Please?"

"Someone is impatient," said Arin. "How badly do you want it?"

"So badly!"

"Well," said Arin, "you'll just have to be patient, hm?" 

And then he licked Dan's asshole.

There was probably some fancy shmancy, pretty way of saying it, but fuck it. 

Arin's mouth was hot and wet, and Arin's tongue was slippery and wriggling as it slid inside of Dan's ass, sucking along the rim, then pulling back to lick along it.

Dan groaned, wriggling harder against him, full on humping the bed. 

If he was in heat, this would be heaven.

... was he wishing to be in heat?

That was a fucking first.

But holy fuck, even this close to a heat as he was, everything felt that much.... more, and it was enough to make Dan's eyes roll back in his head, still humping against the bed. 

"Fuck it, Ar, fuck fuck _fuck_ , don't stop, please!"

"Mhm," Arin agreed, and that was more vibration up his tongue, which was driving Dan wild, leaving him flopped flat on the bed like a landed fish.

Arin's tongue was doing things, things Dan didn't even have the words for, but they just kept happening, and Dan wasn't going to complain, wasn't going to try to quantify anything, just lay there and took it.

Was he being a stereotypical Omega, just... laying here, taking it?

Did it even matter?

Sometimes it seemed like Arin _wanted_ a stereotypical Omega. Maybe he'd like Dan better if Dan came with tits and a pussy.

Then Arin was reaching under Dan, and he was squeezing Dan's cock, and okay, no, that pretty much proved he wanted Dan's dick. 

That... it was....

"Don't make me cum," Dan managed to groan. "If I cum, I won't be good for... anything, please... fuck me, please."

"Gimme a minute," Arin murmured, and he kissed along Dan's shoulder, the wet head of his cock pressing against Dan's ass.

"Hmm?"

"You're so fucking hot," Arin mumbled, "I need to, like, not cream my jeans right now."

"Cream your jeans?" Dan laughed hollowly, and then there was something cold in his ass, and... stuff going into it. "And that was the lube, wasn't it?"

"That was indeed the lube," said Arin, and his cock, even more slippery, was smearing along Dan's ass. 

"So you're... you're wearing jeans?"

"Does it feel like I'm wearing jeans?" 

"It doesn't feel like you're wearing a condom," said Dan, the beginning of anxiety coming up his back.

"No," said Arin. "We were... we were trying, remember? Unless you want to... that is, unless you want me to put one on?"

Dan paused, then shook his head, looking nervously over his shoulder.

"Do your worst," Dan said. "Fuckin'... blast my ass with all that A grade Alpha cum."

"A grade? Free range?"

"If your cum is free range, I'd worry about other stuff," Dan mumbled, and then he lost his train of thought. 

Arin pressed his cock between the cheeks of Dan's ass, his cock sliding freely and easily. 

"Fuck, I could cum like this," Arin groaned, and he wriggled his hips harder.

"Y-y-yeah?" 

"Totally."

"But you're not gonna, right?"

Dan let a little bit of pleading enter into his voice.

"Of course not," said Arin. "Not when I've got this sweet hole waiting for me...."

The head of his cock nudged at Dan's hole, and Dan tried to relax.

He preferred it like this - preferred the stretch of Arin's cock filling him up, without fingers, and Arin was always willing to go along, if a little slower than usual.

And then the head of Arin's cock was inside of Dan's ass, and Arin was resting his weight on Dan's back, his arms on either side of Dan's hips. 

"Fuck, you're so _tight_ ," Arin gasped, and he pushed a bit further in, deeper, until he was fully seated. 

Dan squirmed, and he was... he was filled, all the way, and he twitched around Arin's cock, panting like a dog. 

"Um," said Arin, and he took a deep breath. "You're a lot... you feel a lot hotter without a condom."

That was true.

Arin felt... a lot moreso, without the condom on.

A lot thicker, a lot hotter, a lot more intense. 

There was less friction, and a lot more slide, as Arin's premixed with all of the lube, which was puddling out of Dan's ass.

It was a bit like being in heat, minus all of the annoyances of being in heat.

"Get up on your knees," Arin said, carefully drawing his cock back, then pushing it back in. 

"Why?"

"So you can... so I can jerk you off," said Arin, and then Dan was clambering up onto his knees, his ass pressed back against Arin's groin, his dick pressed against his own belly. 

"You're... so big," Dan said. "How the fuck is your dick so big?"

"I was blessed with good genetics," said Arin, and he flexed his dick inside of Dan.

Which made Dan laugh, which made Arin thrust in harder, which pressed his shaft along Dan's prostate, and Dan was shuddering, his cock leaking pre.

"I'm... gonna... fill you up," Arin murmured into Dan's shoulder. "Gonna knock you up. Get you pregnant. Fill you with my fucking... I'm gonna make you... oh, fuck, my... _knot_!" 

Arin's cock was thickening, pressing against the rim of Dan's asshole, and Arin's teeth were digging into Dan's shoulder now, and Arin's sweaty hair was sticking to Dan's neck, and this was... kinda gross, honestly, but in the best way possible, because now Dan's own orgasm was creeping up behind him, and he was almost there, his toes curling, his knees digging into the bed. 

Arin's knot popped out, and then Arin's knot was nudging against Dan's asshole, until Arin's cock was pressed all the way inside of him, and the knot was filling Dan up better than any plug, and it was still swelling, until Dan was going to burst, he was going to die, he was going to explode, he was going to burst into a million little pieces, until he was nothing but a pink mist filling the room.

And then Arin twisted his wrist, and that did something to Dan's cock, and Dan was cumming, he was cumming and cumming, the way he usually came from a heat, only it kept happening, as Arin's knot pressed down on his prostate, and he was completely spent, his cock still hard and twitching, but nothing left inside of it. 

"My balls... are as empty as... an empty thing," Dan murmured, his eyes half closed. 

"Can I... let yourself lie on your tummy," said Arin. "I wanna go... I wanna go whole hog."

"Whole hog?"

"I'm gonna fuck you," said Arin.

"You're already fucking me," Dan said, and he flopped down onto his stomach, nearly unseating Arin, but no, Arin was fully plugged in, and he was on the very edge of his orgasm, Dan could tell.

Arin shuddered, and then there was a hot gush of cum inside of Dan, a thick, heaviness that just... kept going and going and going, filling up Dan until his belly was probably bulging.

“Holy… fuck,” Arin murmured, and he slumped forward, going boneless on top of Dan.

“You’re not exactly light, you know,” Dan mumbled. 

Arin squeezed Dan’s fingers. 

Dan, in spite of himself, squeezed them back. 

* * * 

Arin woke up forty five minutes later, when his knot had shrunk enough to slide out of Dan’s ass.

It wasn’t the only thing that slid out of Dan’s ass - what felt like a river of cum dripped out, leaving a mess of the sheets and a bigger mess of Dan.

He was going to need another shower.

Later. 

Much later.

Dan burrowed into the sheets, his face in the pillows.

“You look….” Arin yawned widely, rubbing his eyes. “You look like something out of, like, a porno, or a hentai.” 

“Mmm?” 

Arin came back with a washcloth, and he gave Dan a wipe down, then flopped down on the bed next to him.

“I didn’t realize how much cum you actually, like, let go. Let out. Release.” 

Dan rolled onto his back, his cock soft on his thigh, his eyes half closed. 

“Don’t you jerk off every day?” 

Arin cuddled up to Dan, an arm around Dan’s middle, pulling Dan closer. 

“That’s… different,” Dan mumbled, and he let his eyes drift close. 

* * * 

Dan woke up some time later, to the smell of something cooking. 

Arin had disappeared, and Dan stood up carefully, pulling his kimono back on and making his way towards the kitchen.

“You have, like, the worst bed head I’ve ever seen,” said Arin.

He was making something on the stove.

“How bad is it?” 

“You’ve got half of it pasted flat onto your face, and half of it is sticking straight out.”

“We can’t all look good when we get up,” Dan grumbled, sitting down at the table and rubbing his eyes. 

“You saying I look good when I wake up?”

“Something like that,” said Dan. 

“So… if I knocked you up, when do you think you’ll start to know?”

“I have no idea,” said Dan. “It won’t happen the first time.”

“Why not?”

“It just… doesn’t. When my sister was trying to get pregnant, it took her a while.”

“So I’ll have to keep knotting you, huh?” 

Arin waggled his eyebrows.

Dan snorted.

“And I thought you didn’t like knotting all the time,” said Dan. “Since it tends to knock you out so hard.”

“I didn’t knock out that hard this time, actually.”

“How long were we asleep?”

“Like… six hours. It’s midnight.”

“Jesus, Arin, why are we eating dinner now?!”

“Because,” Arin said, “I’m hungry.” He cleared his throat, and he was blushing. “Besides… you need to keep your strength up, you know?”

“I guess,” Dan mumbled, avoiding Arin’s gaze. 

“You okay?”

“I’m okay,” said Dan. “It’s… nerve wracking to talk about all of that stuff.”

“You think?”

“I mean,” said Dan, “it is my body that is going to have to feed, nourish, and eventually transform in the process of doing all of this.”

“You’re not gonna, like, give birth to an Alien ala… Alien,” said Arin.

“They’re gonna have to cut me open,” said Dan, and... well, that had just hit him.

People… well, people of his body type usually had to have c-sections, and as skinny as Dan was… well…. 

“It’ll be okay,” said Arin. “You’ve had surgery before, right?” 

“Well, yeah, but that’s… different, you know?” 

“How is it different?”

“It was on my head, for one thing,” said Dan. “And it was less connected to… everything else, you know?”

“You don’t wanna damage your money shot, huh?”

Dan snorted.

“And I’ll help you recover, every step of the way,” Arin promised, and he was giving Dan the big eyes.

“I mean, that’s really reassuring man, but still. I’m gonna be _cut open_.” 

Panic was rising in his chest.

For fuck sake.

“You’ll be okay,” Arin reassured him. “I promise.”

He abandoned the pasta to pat Dan on the shoulder. 

Dan leaned into it. 

“Sorry, just… is it dumb that I’m kinda now realizing the repercussions of all of this stuff?”

“As long as, uh, you’re not changing your mind,” said Arin, looking nervous. “Although, I mean, if you didn’t want to do this, or if you didn’t want to… try….”

“No, no, I’m okay,” said Dan. “I’m just… nervous, you know?”

“I am too, if that helps.” 

Arin set a glass of water down in front of Dan. 

“Drink up,” said Arin.

“I dunno,” said Dan, “I’ve had a lot….”

“It’s not like you’re driving,” said Arin. 

“Fair enough. Give me another one, bartender.”

He took a swig, and he leaned back, watching Arin stir the pasta.

* * * 

Arin watched Dan with a hopeful expression for the next two weeks, and it was… a bit unsettling, honestly.

Dan didn’t _feel_ any different - he probably hadn’t been knocked up, but he also didn’t feel like getting knotted again.

The weirdest part - his heat didn’t show up, which Arin claimed might be a sign of pregnancy, but Dan had pointed out it might be an age thing.

Truth be told, it was nice to not have to deal with the whole annoyance of a heat.

So Dan just… kept going. 

Existing. 

He recorded episodes, he recorded songs, he made out with Arin, they fucked like demons. 

Everything was normal, to the point that Dan pretty much forgot about the whole knotting thing, apart from every time that Arin brought it up.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Not queasy or anything?”

“Arin, my stomach has always been a pain in the ass, and it is a mystery to even myself,” said Dan. “I’ve been a bit queasy, but it’s not anything new, alright?”

“Alright, alright,” Arin said, and he kissed Dan, right on the mouth. 

* * * 

It got worse.

A lot worse.

It just... escalated, until Dan was perpetually queasy, perpetually throwing up. He lost weight - his cheeks were hollowing out, and his hands were shaking all the time.

To say nothing of the exhaustion. 

He fell asleep in the middle of a Grump session, several times, until Arin banished him to Arin's private office, to nap on the couch.

And Arin was getting worried.

After almost a week of it, he dragged Dan to the hospital.

"It's just a stomach bug," Dan protested weakly, as they made their way towards the emergency room. 

"You've lost weight," Arin pointed out. "I didn't even think that you _could_ lose weight!"

"Anything is possible, man," said Dan, and he yawned widely enough that his jaw cracked. 

His gut twisted, and he gagged, one hand over his mouth.

Arin aimed him at a garbage can, and Dan threw up again.

This was getting tiresome.

The nurse up front took one look at him and rushed him in. 

"It's just a stomach bug," Dan mumbled weakly, as the was ushered into a room and sat on a bed. 

"You look like death warmed over," said Arin.

He was clutching at Dan's hand. 

"You're severely dehydrated," the doctor told Dan, when she came in. "I'm going to put you on an IV, and then we're gonna run a few tests."

Dan nodded, as the nurse came in with an IV stand and a needle. 

"Okay," said the nurse. "What tests are we running?"

The doctor rattled off a bunch of names that Dan wasn't paying attention to. 

Then the doctor paused, and stared down at Dan's chart.

"You're an Omega, right?"

Dan nodded.

"Run a pregnancy test as well."

"I'm probably not pregnant," Dan said, and Arin squeezed his hand. 

"You did miss your heat," Arin pointed out.

"Yeah, but that sometimes happens."

Dan looked away as they put the needle in his arm to take his blood for whatever tests, then kept looking away as they put the IV in his arm.

He did begin to feel better, though, and he sighed, leaning into the chair. 

"If you are pregnant," said Arin, "I'm gonna have to start moving in more quickly, I think."

"Yeah?" 

Dan kept his eyes closed.

His stomach was roiling, and his anxiety was on high alert. 

"Well, yeah," said Arin. "If you're having all these health problems, it probably wouldn't be fair to ask you to do all the heavy lifting and whatnot that comes with moving."

"We'd have our friends to help," Dan pointed out. 

"Yeah, but still," said Arin. "I don't wanna stress you out too much. It'd be bad for the baby."

"Never mind me," Dan grumbled. "Of course we're gonna worry about the baby that doesn't even exist yet."

"I mean, if you're pregnant, than the baby exists in, like, potentia," Arin pointed out.

He looked anxious. 

"It might exist in potentia _if_ I'm pregnant, but right now, I'm like, Schrodinger's pregnant," said Dan. 

"What, both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time?"

"Exactly!" 

"That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard," said Arin, and he was laughing. 

"You're the guy who made a whole song about the fact that you get bad shits when you eat ice cream, and now you're saying my jokes are dumb?!"

"I know bad jokes. They're practically a part of me!"

Dan rolled his eyes, and he elbowed Arin in the side.

Arin poked him on the forehead, very gently, and they sat in the hospital room and waited.

* * * 

They were in limbo right now.

Depending on what the doctor said, Dan was going to have to rearrange... everything.

Rearrange his life, rearrange his house, his schedule....

It was enough to make his heart beat faster and his stomach churn. 

But nothing was happening, in the here and now, and he would savor this moment, even as horrible as he felt, because this might be the last moment that he was a not-parent.

* * * 

"Congratulations," said the doctor, and she was smiling. 

"So...?" Arin was on the very edge of the seat.

"You are about eight weeks in," said the doctor. "I'd like you to come back in two weeks."

"But... I wasn't in heat," Dan said weakly. 

"If you're within a week of your heat, in either direction, there's a higher probability of fertilization, if knotting occurs," said the doctor.

Her tone was so... practical.

Dan's stomach was made of ice and his heart was beating very fast.

What was he feeling right now?

He didn't know.

The doctor was talking to him, but he wasn't paying attention to her - he indicated to Arin, who said something about being the sire, and how the doctor could tell him all the instructions.

A booklet was shoved into Dan's hands, and Dan held on to it numbly. 

What was happening?

The doctor was talking to Arin about a bland diet, about keeping Dan hydrated, about taking it easy.

Arin was nodding along, agreeing with the doctor.

And then they were alone again.

"You're having a baby," Arin said. " _We're_ having a baby!"

"Right," said Dan. 

"Are you excited?"

"I honestly mainly feel like I'm gonna puke," said Dan. 

"Well, lucky for you, we've got you a prescription to deal with that," said Arin. "Let's get you some food and some Powerade, and then we can start discussing moving."

"Right," said Dan.

He wasn't in his body. He wasn't attached to it, he was just... floating a few inches to the left of it.

He wasn't real.

None of it was real.

Things were happening, but they were in no way connected to him. 

"Dan," Arin said sharply. "Are you okay?"

"So I've been like this for a month?" Dan spoke slowly, carefully.

He was reminded, absurdly, of watching Zootopia with Brian and his daughter, and the bit with the sloths, and just how slow they had spoken.

That was what he was.

He was a sloth. 

Did sloths have Alphas and Omegas and all that jazz?

He'd have to ask. 

He was standing up now.

How about that?

* * *

It was all a blur.

He was in the car, and he was at the office, sitting on the couch in Arin's private office as Arin gave him a bottle of Powerade and told him to drink it, as Arin went to get him some toast.

So he was going to be having a baby.

An actual baby.

He and Arin were going to be together for as long as the baby was alive, probably.

Which would hopefully be a lot longer than they would be alive.

A bolt of terror shot through him, and the nausea swept over him like a wave.

He threw up into Arin's wastebasket, and he kept throwing up - all the Powerade, the anti-nausea pills they had given him at the hospital, and the who even knew how much bile, how much mucus, how much spit.

He didn't realize he was crying until he heard the sobbing, and he didn't connect it to himself for almost a full minute. 

Dan didn't hear the door of the office opening either, but Arin was coming up behind Dan, wrapping his big arms around Dan, and he was rocking Dan, his chin on Dan's shoulder, making soothing noises, kissing Dan's temple as Dan cried and cried.

"Shhh," Arin murmured. "It's okay. It's going to be okay. I promise."

"I'm gonna be a horrible dad," Dan choked out. "I'm afraid. I'm so afraid. Nothing... nothing is gonna be the same. I can't be a r-r-rockstar anymore, I can't... I... oh no...."

He let Arin turn him around, and he clung to Arin, too far gone to even be humiliated at how... over dramatic he was being, at how horrified and terrified he was.

This hadn't been the plan.

He was going to marry a nice woman, he was going to become a rock star, have kids when he retired in his forties.

Except....

Except he didn't want some nice woman.

He wanted Arin.

He wanted Arin, and he wanted to keep being his rock star self, and he wanted Arin to be happy, and he wanted to be happy. 

He didn't know if he wanted to be pregnant, but he already knew he wanted this baby. 

His baby.

His and Arin's baby.

Which set him off crying again, harder, so hard that he almost threw up again, and he only managed to keep from gagging by shoving his hands over his mouth and breathing carefully. 

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay," Dan mumbled, and he rested his forehead on Arin's shoulder. "I'm sorry for freaking out like that. It was... it was stupid. I'm sorry."

"I mean, I get it," Arin said quietly. "Kind of. I don't think I'll ever, like... totally get it, but I'm here."

"I'm...." Dan laughed wetly, and he wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "Would you believe I thought I'd marry a woman?"

"Well, yeah," said Arin. "Didn't you think you were straight for a while."

"Yeah," said Dan. 

"Do you... want to get married?"

It was Arin's turn to look a bit stricken. 

"I mean," Arin said quickly, "I'd be okay with getting married, it's just, uh...."

"I'm not ready to get married," Dan said. "I mean... unless you don't wanna live in sin?"

"I'm okay with living in sin," Arin said. "And... having a baby out of wedlock."

He laughed, clearly uncomfortable, on the verge of hysterical. 

"So we're gonna do it?"

"We said we were gonna do it," Dan pointed out. "I promised, if I got knocked up, I'd keep it."

"Well, yeah, but you made that promise before you were actually knocked up," said Arin. "And you had a huge freak out over being knocked up."

"Did I?"

It was already foggy and distant.

"Oh yeah," said Arin. "So... if it's really so horrifying for you... you can have an abortion. I mean, you can have the abortion regardless, because it's your body, but... I'll help you pay for it and drive you to the appointment and all of that."

Dan nodded.

"I don't think I want one?" 

Did he?

The idea of being a parent was alien, but the idea of having an abortion just... wasn't something he wanted, on a deep, visceral level.

So he was going to keep it.

He was going to get pregnant, and probably wreck his body, but there would be a baby, and the baby would love him.

Hopefully.

Well, he'd love the baby. 

Again hopefully.

Now that he thought about it, he wasn't too worried about that.

It was pretty easy for him to fall in love, especially with something like a baby.

Dan huffed a sigh, and he cuddled up closer to Arin, his head on Arin's shoulder.

"We're gonna do this," he told Arin quietly. "We're gonna have this baby, and we're gonna be fuckin' badasses doing this." 

"You fuckin' know it," Arin said, and he wrapped his arms around Dan, pulling him closer.

* * *

"So," said Dan, after he'd taken more pills and eaten his toast, "I think we need to tell everyone that we're together."

"Yeah?" Arin was crowded onto the couch next to Dan, his arm around Dan's middle, one hand resting on Dan's belly.

Dan had a feeling he was going to have to get used to that position. 

Arin had his nose pressed into Dan's neck, and he nuzzling in.

"I can't believe I missed it," Arin mumbled.

"Mmm?"

"You smell. You smell different. I can't believe I missed it."

"Yeah," Dan said hollowly. "I smell like vomit."

"No, no, it's more than that," said Arin. "You smell a bit... different."

"Well," said Dan, "you're an Alpha. You'd notice."

"Am I... am I your Alpha?" Arin's face looked hopeful.

"You're my boyfriend," Dan said firmly. "I... we're people. We're not just some kind of weird zoo animals, or characters in the weirder kind of erotica."

"Suzy was my Omega," said Arin, his voice quiet. "I liked it when she called me her Alpha."

"Well," said Dan, "I'm not Suzy."

"You think you'll get bigger than she will?"

"I have no idea," Dan said, his voice tired. "Maybe I'll get lucky and have a small baby."

"Somehow, I doubt that," said Arin, and he slapped Dan on the back. "Not with my genes!"

Dan groaned. 

"I hope it's small," he said, his voice plaintive. "I'd like to be more than a walking, talking stomach for the next few months."

"But then it'll be done," Arin pointed out, "and you'll have a healthy baby!"

"... I hope," Dan said, and that was a new bit of anxiety climbing up his back. 

Great. 

"Do you want to tell everyone at the office now? Or wait a little bit?"

"I might as well tell them now," said Dan, and he stood up with a sigh. 

Goodbye, his status as most Alpha of all Alphas.

* * *

Arin called a meeting.

Everyone came to it - even Barry, who was in for his own thing.

Dan was possibly imagining things, but Arin kept shooting Barry a certain kind of look. 

"So, uh, me and Dan have an announcement to make," said Arin, and he was rubbing his hands together.

"Is it that you're dating?" Ross piped up.

Everyone turned and stared at him.

"What?"

"You guys are fuckin' obvious," Ross said. "And you keep fucking in the Grump room. I'm not fuckin'... nose blind, dude." 

"... well," said Arin, and he was blushing. 

Dan was sitting at the head of the table, and Arin's hands were on his shoulders.

"So we're dating," Dan said. "We're moving in together."

"Congratulations," said Brian. "So why are we calling a meeting for this?"

"I'm pregnant," said Dan. 

The silence filled the room like smoke - sliding into the lungs of everyone at the table, then curling to fill every corner. 

Ross was the first one to speak.

"So... you're an Omega?"

"Got it in one," said Dan, trying to look amused.

"So that's why you look like death warmed over," said Ross. 

"Congratulations," said Barry, and he was genuinely smiling.

Arin smiled back, but his eyes weren't in it. 

"So... I'm gonna be sorting out my schedule," Dan said, and he made eye contact with Brian. 

Brian nodded.

They were probably gonna have to have a long talk, to figure out how things were going to work for the next few months.

But they'd sort it out.

Brian was reliable like that.

A bit of a weight was lifted off of Dan's chest, which helped. 

Okay.

They could do that.

* * *

Arin moved in two weeks later. 

It was... terrifyingly efficient. 

He went through all his stuff, he reduced it down to almost nothing, and he showed up at Dan's with a van full of books and some very nerdy art. 

And then they went to the store and bought baby stuff, and that was weird.

Arin wanted to do all of that before Dan was... well, huge, before he was at the point that he was visibly pregnant. 

Maybe they'd look like a pair of dudes expecting to adopt a baby, getting a crib and a changing table and a fuckton of diapers. 

At least he wasn't throwing up every five minutes. 

* * * 

Dan blew up two weeks after that. 

That was the only way to describe it.

He had a visibly protruding stomach, for the first time since he was in his twenties. 

And it was going to get bigger.

Dan groaned, and pulled on a pair of Arin's sweatpants. 

* * *

"You look like you swallowed a watermelon," said Brian, as Dan came in to to talk about their concert plans.

"Gee, thanks," Dan groused. 

"It's not my fault you decided to get pregnant, when you're already a stick," Brian pointed out.

Dan stuck his tongue out at Brian, and shifted to try to get comfortable.

His back was already starting to ache.

* * * 

"We need to tell the Lovelies," Dan said, four months in.

He was officially There.

Officially pregnant looking.

He couldn't see his feet, and his belly button had gone from "innie" to "outie", which was... just great. 

It was all just _great_ , and he hated it with every fiber of his being.

At least Arin was happy.

"How should we do it? Instagram? Official video? Live stream?"

"I've got a better idea," said Dan. 

"Yeah?"

"You know how we've been meaning to shoot a commercial for the new apparel?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Well...."

* * * 

_Dan walks into frame, very visibly pregnant, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Magical Girl shirt that looks suspiciously like one of Arin's._

_"Hey Arin," Dan says._

_"Yes, Dan?"_

_Arin looks up, striking a dramatic pose and overacting._

_"Notice anything different about me?"_

_"Indeed I do," says Arin, and he gets on his knees, Dan's distended belly sharing the frame with his head._

_Then Dan turns to the side, to reveal that his pants have "Game Grumps" written along the side._

_"You're wearing the new Game Grumps lounge pants!"_

_"Now going up to 4XL," Dan says helpfully, and the camera pans up to Dan's face, where he is smiling obnoxiously and giving a thumbs up._

_"Order them now, while supplies last!"_

_Arin says, out of frame._

_Dan winks._

* * *

"The internet is going to explode," said Dan, his feet up on the coffee table, his belly a dome in front of him.

"It'll be fine," said Arin, coming to sit next to Dan. 

He put a plate of food on the table in front of Dan, and one hand on Dan's belly.

"Anyone moving in there?"

"It... shifts sometimes," said Dan. "A little bit."

"She," Arin said. "The doctor said she."

"I hope," Dan said quietly. 

There were... dangers to having a boy, when two men got together.

Certain chromosomal problems that had mostly been dealt with, but there was always a chance, and you didn't want your kid to be the statistical outlier.

As it were. 

Arin pressed his lips to Dan’s belly, and he whispered to the baby.

Dan sighed, and tried to remember what it was like to be a person, and not just a walking incubator.

* * * 

“You know,” Arin said, a week later, “I think you’re bigger than Suzy.”

“Suzy’s got, like, a month on me,” said Dan. “And also actual body fat.”

“You’re getting some body fat,” Arin said defensively.

“I mean,” said Dan, and he grabbed his own cheek, which had finally plumped out a bit. “Are you going to turn this into a pissing contest with your ex?”

“... no,” said Arin, although he looked uncomfortable. 

Dan raised an eyebrow. 

Arin kissed him, and Dan tried to push past his terror.

* * * 

And then Dan was five months in, and he was… indisposed.

“That was a really dumb idea,” said Arin.

“Shut up,” said Dan.

“You seriously _chugged_ a bottle of -”

“Milk of magnesia, yes,” said Dan, and he made a belabored noise. 

“Why, exactly?”

“Arin,” Dan said in exasperation. “I have not taken a shit in almost two weeks. I will die of internal poisoning or explode from all the poo, or… something.”

“It can’t be that bad,” said Arin.

“Come in and say that to my face,” said Dan.

Arin opened the door - and then he closed it. 

“No thanks,” said Arin.

Dan groaned, as his body did more things.

“I’ll get you yet,” said Dan. 

“You do that,” said Arin. “I’ll make you some eggs.”

* * * 

Dan came out, an hour later, and he slumped on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.

He was always cold, and he seemed to be nothing but belly. 

He didn’t have anything resembling tits, which was a weird mix of an annoyance and a relief.

He’d look fucking ridiculous with tits. 

He yawned wide enough that his jaw cracked, and Arin came onto the couch with him, his head on Dan’s shoulder and his hand on Dan’s belly.

“How’s your passenger?”

“It - she’s good,” said Dan. “The incubator is doing well too.”

“You’re more than just an incubator,” scolded Arin, and he snuggled closer, his arms going around Dan’s middle.

Even at five months pregnant, his hands could meet. 

“I need to remember that,” mumbled Dan, and he yawned again.

There was movement from inside of him. 

Which was… wait a minute, what?

"Ar," Dan said, and he grabbed his boyfriend's hand, pressing it against the side of his stomach.

"Is she moving?"

"I... think so," said Dan. "I mean, it might just be - okay, ow, no, that's an elbow."

Arin pressed his hand against the small bump on Dan't distended belly. 

"Holy fuck," Arin said, and he sounded choked up. "Holy fuck, that's... holy fuck!"

"Real creative," Dan said dryly, and he winced as the baby squirmed some more, a knee poking out from inside of his belly.

"Shut the fuck up," said Arin, and he kissed Dan, cupping Dan's cheeks with his big hands, his tongue sliding into Dan's mouth like a secret.

He was pressing closer, and his belly was pressed against Dan's, and the baby kicked Arin in the gut, which made Arin laugh and Dan wince.

"Arin," Dan mumbled against Arin's lips, "dude, this is great, but, like, I'm fuckin' starving. Can we maybe order a pizza or something?"

Arin pulled back, and he looked genuinely delighted. 

"You're actually hungry?"

"Yeah," said Dan, and he was a bit surprised himself.

Maybe the goddamn nausea was finally abating and he could eat food like a normal human being. 

Or like a normal human being and a half, since... he wasn't entirely one person at present.

Sort of.

This was too difficult. 

He wanted pizza.

And some Lucky Charms.

"Fuck my life," Dan said, and he covered his face with two hands. "I can't wait for this to be over."

"For what to be over?"

"To stop being pregnant," Dan said. 

"You don't like it?" Arin looked genuinely surprised. "Suzy said that -"

"Suzy has a pelvis that was better made for this," Dan said, through gritted teeth. "And again: she's got things like body fat. And boobs." 

"Well, yeah, but... you look hot," Arin said. 

"I don't feel it," said Dan. "So how about that pizza?"

"You're lucky you're so hot," Arin said, his tone teasing, and he kissed Dan on the cheek.

Dan leaned in to be kissed.

* * *

"Dude," said Ross, as Dan reclined on the couch. "You know what I'm reminded of?"

"What are you reminded of?" 

Dan had his feet up, and was writing out on a notepad. 

"That scene from Alien."

"That is my life now, Ross," Dan said, his voice deadpan. "At some point, very soon, this thing is gonna burst out of my stomach and break open my rib cage and -"

"Dude," said Ross, and he wrinkled his nose. "That's gross."

"It's nice to get to troll you sometimes," Dan said. "It's like hitting the exact right high note."

"How would you know what that feels like? You've never done it."

Ross didn't even have time to duck - the pillow smacked him in the face.

"Being pregnant has made you grumpy," he told Dan, tossing the pillow back at him.

"You try carrying around six pounds on your front, and see how you like it," said Dan. "Or do you wanna hear about how I have to pee every five minutes."

"Okay, okay," Ross said, and he flopped onto the bean bag next to Dan. "So what are you writing?"

"A new Ninja Sex Party song," said Dan. "I'll probably be able to at least record it before I get cleft in twain."

"... the fuck?!" 

"Listen man," said Dan, and he was looking at Ross, his expression earnest, "I am dealing with both pregnancy fatigue, and pregnancy induced insomnia. Which means I have literally fallen asleep with a dick in my mouth -"

"I didn't need to know that!" Ross yelled!

" - and I can't sleep three nights out of five. I'm getting my reading in!"

"What are you reading, for things like "cleft in twain"?" 

Dan mumbled something about Arin having old Arthurian legends lying around, which is _also_ how he ended up admitting to read _Sir Gawain and the Green Knight_ , while writing a song about how he was so Alpha that he had gone all the way in the other direction into being an Omega, but the most Omega of all Omegas. 

Because hey, if everyone knew that he was an Omega... why fight it?

Maybe pregnancy was making him more zen.

The baby kicked him in the bladder, and he grunted, and struggled upright, to make his way towards the bathroom. 

Or maybe he was just too tired to care about any of this shit. 

"Ross, help me up," he said. 

"Not even a please?" 

Ross gave Dan the hand up anyway, because he might have been a sadist, but he wasn't a jerk. 

* * *

Dan came into the Grump room, carefully, and he sat down, both hands on his belly.

The baby moved in him, and he rubbed it. 

It would be an actual person soon. 

Three months, god willing. 

"Are you as excited to get out as I am to get you out?"

He was aware how silly it was to talk to the baby, but fuck it. 

"I'm pretty damn excited," said Arin. 

Dan jumped. 

"How are you so goddamn quiet?"

"I'm not," said Arin. "You're just in your own world." 

He went fumbling around the room, flipping switches and plugging stuff in, until they were set for the Grumps episode.

Right before he started recording, he glanced sidelong at Dan. 

"I saw Suzy's new video," he said.

"Yeah?" Dan was low on patience, and... just didn't feel like dealing with Arin's insecurity about his ex-wife. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I like to keep updated," said Arin, his tone defensive. 

"So why are you telling me about this?"

The irritation was rising, to go with the heartburn that would probably hit him in a few hours. 

"I think you're bigger than she is," Arin said, and he sounded downright gleeful. "Anyway. Let's start."

"Welcome to Game Grumps," said Dan, "where Arin is competitive about the weirdest shit!"

"I'm not competitive," Arin said, his voice defensive. "So thank you to...." 

And he rattled off a bunch of names, who had gotten them the ridiculous knock off Spider Man game. 

"You're just comparing how pregnant I am to... someone else who's pregnant," Dan said. "You want me to be, like, the most pregnant!"

"That's not true," said Arin.

"No?" 

Dan raised an eyebrow, but concentrated on the game they were playing, because... well, that wasn't an argument to have in front of the Lovelies.

* * * 

At seven months, Dan could Grump, and that was about it. 

The new song would have to be put on hold, because Dan couldn't stand up that long, and also he had to pee every five minutes, and also everything hurt all the time, and he was so tired of being pregnant. 

And Arin was getting on his nerves.

"The next one will be easier," said Arin, as they cuddled up on the couch at the end of the day. 

"I'm sorry, next one?" 

Dan struggled to sit upright, so that he could give Arin a Look.

"Sure," said Arin. "I want a few kids."

"You can have the next one," said Dan.

"It can't be that bad," said Arin. "I mean, Suzy is doing fine."

"You don't know if Suzy is doing fine," Dan said, and oh yes, his patience was wearing a bit thin. "We watch videos that she puts up for all of YouTube to see, and a chunk of her job is looking good for aforementioned YouTube."

"What's gotten you so grumpy? Is the baby kicking your ribs again?"

Arin looked... genuinely confused, and that was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. 

"You're using this fucking... mess to one up your ex, aren't you?" 

“What?” Arin sat up.

“This whole fucking pregnancy, it’s been “I hope you get bigger than Suzy” and “I hope you’re having multiples” and shit like that. It’s all just this massive dick measuring contest with Suzy and Barry!”

“It’s not,” said Arin, defensive. “And why would you call it a mess?”

“Arin,” Dan said, very slowly and carefully, “I can barely walk. I am on three different types of anti-nausea medications, and I still throw up three days out of seven. I don’t wanna fucking know what’s happening to my back. Or, like, the rest of me. This baby is fucking me up. I’ve gotta change my whole fuckin’... life trajectory, and don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to do it, because it’s my baby, and... I can’t not love it.” He held both hands on his belly. 

“It’s… you’ll be able to bounce right back, Dan,” Arin said. “It won’t be too hard. I’ll be here to help.” 

“You don’t get it,” said Dan, and maybe he was being unreasonable, but fuck it. 

He stood up, and he made his way upstairs.

Arin was talking to him.

He didn’t fucking care.

He went into the bedroom, and he slammed the door shut behind him, and locked it, as an afterthought.

He curled up on the bed, his knees pressing against his belly.

“Your dad’s a bonehead,” he told the baby, and it pressed its back up against the wall of his stomach. 

* * * 

Arin banged on the door for maybe five minutes, then stomped off in a huff. 

Dan bit back the guilt, and rolled over, pulling the blanket over him so that he was properly burritoed.

He was aware that he was probably being a jerk.

He didn’t fucking care.

At least he was exhausted enough that he could just fall asleep - close his eyes and let the exhaustion roll over him like a fog, as the baby squirmed inside of him.

* * * 

He woke up who knew how much later - it was dark outside, and Dan could hear noises coming from the kitchen. 

There was light on under the door.

He stood up, slowly, and he unlocked the door, making his way down the stairs, into the kitchen, which was the only room with a light on, an island of light in the dark house.

Arin had his hair tied back, and he was doing something with a bowl full of stuff.

“Hi,” said Arin, when Dan stepped out. 

“Hi,” said Dan, cautious. 

“I’m sorry,” said Arin, and he sounded… sincere. 

Also sad - his eyes were swollen, like he’d been crying. 

“For what?”

“For being a jerk. For being… for not understanding how hard it’s been for you.”

Arin took a cautious step forward.

Dan pressed closer, until they were almost touching. 

“I’ve… can I admit to something?” 

Arin rubbed the back of his neck.

He was still holding the whisk. 

“Yeah?” 

Dan kept his tone noncommittal. 

“I… wanted to have a baby. With Suzy. And I don’t know if I was ready to have a baby with you, but I was so… intense about it, because… well, I want a baby, you know?” Arin laughed, clearly self conscious. “But, like…. I went to complain to Brian, and he kinda pointed out that I’ve been treating you like a surrogate Suzy, which… isn’t fair.”

He sighed, took a step closer.

“If you… if you don’t want to be together anymore, I understand,” he said. “And after the baby is born, maybe after it’s gotten a bit bigger, we can separate for a bit. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch, if that would make you more comfortable, since if we’re not together you’d wanna sleep alone and I can’t make you -”

“Arin,” Dan said, “I don’t wanna break up with you.” 

“Oh,” said Arin, and his mouth shut with a click. 

“I feel like… I feel like you don’t realize how much this baby is gonna change my life. _Our_ lives. And it’s… it’s scary, doing it by myself. Or feeling like I’m doing it by myself.”

Dan stared down, and his eyes were overflowing, tears dripping down his face.

Goddamn it. 

“I’m sorry,” said Arin. “I’m… I don’t. I don’t understand. But I’m willing to listen. And I’m gonna be better. I promise.”

Dan sniffed loudly, and he wiped his eyes. 

“Okay,” Dan said, and he looked up.

“We’re okay?”

“I think so,” said Dan. 

“... would you like some pancakes?” 

Arin was blushing now. 

“Pancakes?” Dan sat down, carefully.

“I figured you’d be hungry, if you’re not queasy, and I know you love pancakes, so, uh… I made you some pancakes. Well, I’m in the process of making pancakes. I can make you eggs as well, if you’d like?”

Dan nodded. 

“Okay,” he said.

Things… things were going to be okay.

Hopefully.

* * * 

And time went by.

Dan got bigger, as if it were possible.

He didn’t sleep much, once the baby started to go wandering, and Arin… well, Arin got better.

He gave more back rubs, he became more sympathetic and understanding.

He stopped watching Suzy’s videos as well, which helped. 

* * * 

“So, like, I haven’t been able to sleep,” said Arin, as the two of them filmed a Grump episode.

“I’ll tell you what, Arin,” said Dan. “When you can’t even lie down, I’ll be more sympathetic.”

He was almost nine months in. 

He was big enough that all he wanted to do was eat and sleep, all he could do was piss.

“You’ve been sleeping on the couch, it’s not that bad,” said Arin.

“How about the next kid, how about you have the next kid,” Dan said, and he was laughing awkwardly. “Oof, ow. I need that.”

“She’s still kicking you, right?” 

“What else is she gonna do, play poker?”

“If we were having multiples -” 

“Don’t even say that,” Dan said quickly. “I’m terrified.”

“Wouldn’t we know by now?”

“I don’t even know, man,” said Dan, and he sighed, leaning back. “This is already bullshit, what am I fucking talking about, who even knows.”

Arin snorted, and he prodded Dan gently in the side. 

Dan prodded him back.

* * * 

His water broke at the office.

Of course it did.

He’d been having contractions for days, and it was… well, it sucked.

It sucked a lot. 

His whole body would seize up, his belly going tight, and it was painful enough to make him stop doing whatever he was doing.

And then there was wetness dripping down his leg, and the pain was filling his whole body up like a glass of water, and he couldn’t really think of anything, except that he was a far way off.

It was a little bit like when he had realized he was pregnant. 

“Arin?”

“What’s up.”

Arin looked at him, his expression worried.

“I think I’m having it.”

“Having what?”

“The kid.”

“You already have the kid.”

“Well, I mean, it’s coming out of me. Like, it’s ready to come out of me.”

His voice was very calm.

How about that.

And then Arin dropped his plate, grabbing Dan by the arm and towing Dan to the door.

“We gotta go sort everything out and I’m gonna be a dad holy fuck we’ll see you guys later.”

* * * 

Stuff happened in flashes.

He was in the car.

He was in a wheelchair in the hospital.

Arin was helping him put on a hospital gown. 

Arin was holding his hand as they put an IV in.

Pressing his forehead against Arin’s, as the long needle went into his back, as he lost the feeling in his legs, in his… everything.

And then the doctor was talking to him about the c-section, and drawing something on his stomach, and then….

Well, honestly, he didn’t remember. 

Something must have happened - Arin had been wearing latex gloves, and they had been torn by Dan’s fingernails.

Was he afraid?

Was he in pain?

The lights were very bright, and the doctors were touching him - he could feel it, even if he couldn’t… feel it. 

There were things happening to his body, things he didn’t want to think about, but they were happening, and then… there was….

Screaming.

Crying. 

A baby crying. 

Dan looked down, and he saw the ruddy, screwed up face, with thin dark hair, covered in blood and who even knew what.

And he fainted.

* * *

He woke up… he didn’t know when he woke up.

But Arin was sitting next to him, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. 

He was holding a pink blanket, and he was looking anxiously down at it, then looking over at Dan’s face.

“You’re awake,” Arin said quietly. 

“Am I?” 

Dan blinked, dizzy, the room spinning, his head spinning more.

“Oh yeah,” said Arin. “We… she’s a girl.”

“Oh,” said Dan. “What’s her name?”

“We haven’t figured that out yet,” said Arin. “You should hold her.”

He sat up, slowly, and there was… there was a feeling, just below his belly - it wasn’t exactly… pain, per se. 

He couldn’t feel pain.

But there was a tug.

The nurses were fussing over him, and then the baby was being put on his chest.

She stared up at him with big blue eyes, and her little hand got free of the blanket, to pat his cheek.

She was right over his heart beat.

The enormity of it all crashed down on him like a wave, and he gathered her up in his arms, and he wept like his heart was breaking, as Arin pressed closer, his forehead against Dan’s temple.

It was real.

It had happened, and it would happen.

And he was here, with her. 

Whoever she was going to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? Check out my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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